Finding Happiness

Once a group of 50 people was attending a seminar.

Suddenly the speaker stopped and started giving each person a balloon. Each one was asked to write his/her name on it using a marker pen. Then all the balloons were collected and put in another room.

Now these delegates were let in that room and asked to find the balloon which had their name written, within 5 minutes.

Everyone was frantically searching for their name, pushing, colliding with each other, and there was utter chaos.

At the end of 5 minutes, no one could find their own balloon.

Now each one was asked to randomly collect a balloon and give it to the person whose name was written on it. Within minutes everyone had their own balloon.

The speaker began: This is exactly happening in our lives. Everyone is frantically looking for happiness all around, not knowing where it is. Our happiness lies in the happiness of other people. Give them their happiness, you will get your own happiness.

And this is the purpose of human life.

Author Unknown

Redneck Olympics

Skipping Rocks

The oldest and most traditional of all Redneck games. The heavy-weight division is most popular, as contestants try to skip bricks.

Flinging

Originated by an ancient Redneck trying to clean his yard. A great fling is not only a beautiful thing to watch, but often it is accompanied by the exciting sound of something breaking.

Rowing

Not the most popular sport because most Rednecks agree that, "If you can't afford a motor, you can't afford a boat."

Long Jump

This sport is a Redneck favorite, since they all own numerous sets of jumper cables and all their vehicles have dead or dying batteries.

Hog Calling

The good ones can bring a sow into Times Square using only their voice.  The great ones are often victims of sexual assault by live pork.

Tracking

We're not talking about anything as sissy as following a blood trail. A good tracker can trail a grasshopper down the interstate. A favorite put down in this sport is, "You couldn't track a slug across a sheet of glass."

Field Hockey

Who can run the farthest through a cow pasture without stepping  in "you know what." A real exciting game when played at night with flashlights.

Bush Hogging For Distance

Put her in drive and hold on tight! A blatant disregard for personal property is an essential for this game. 

2x4 Relay

Originated at night on construction sites by people looking to enlarge their homes at budget prices.

Source: Internet

Postcard From One Redneck To Another

Dear Billy Joe,

I'm writin this real slow cause I know you can't read very fast.

We don't live where we did when you left, we read that most accidents happen within 10 miles of home, so we moved.

I won't be able to send you our new address cause the last family that lived here took the house numbers with them so they wouldn't have to change their address.

This here new place has a washing machine. The first time mama used it she put in four shirts and pulled the chain and we ain't seen them since.

It only rained here twice this week. Three days the first time and five days the second time. 

I know it is cold where you are so we're sending you a coat. Mama said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with them buttons on it, so we cut 'em off and put 'em in the pockets.

My sister had a baby this morning. I ain't heard whether it's a boy or girl so I don't know if I'm an uncle or an aunt.

We got a letter from the funeral home. They said if we don't make the last payment on the funeral bill, up she comes!

Uncle John fell in the big whiskey vat. When they tried to pull him out, he fought them off, so he drowned.

We cremated him and he burned for three days.

Three of my friends went off the bridge in a pickup truck.

One was driving, the other two was in the back.

The driver got out cause he rolled down the window and swam to safety. The other two drowned, they couldn't get the tailgate down.

Well, I hope this catches you up on things that are going on around here.

Your cuz,

Bubba

1960....The Bobby Darin "Dream Car"

When fins were in.  What, a blind spot?

                                              

Therefore they made the rear roof all glass

The 1960 DiDia 150 was a luxury, custom-designed iconic, handmade car also known as the "Dream Car" forever associated with its second owner, singer Bobby Darin. The car was designed by Andrew Di Dia,  a clothing designer, who Bobby Darin had met whilst on tour in Detroit in 1957.  Darin telling Di Dia at the time that he would purchase the car if he ever "hit it big”.  For seven years, from 1953 to 1960 the DiDia 150 was hand-built by four workers, at a cost of $93,647.29  but sold to Darin in 1961 at a cost of over $150,000 (1.5 million today). ] At the time the car was listed as most expensive 'custom-made' car in the world by the Guinness Book of Records. ] The body was hand-formed by Ron Clark  and constructed by Bob Kaiser from Clark Kaiser Customs.

Its metallic red paint was made with 30 coats of ground diamonds for sparkle.

Built in Detroit, Michigan, clothing designer Andrew 'Andy' Di Dia designed  this "unrestrained and unconventional" automobile.  Only one example was ever built.

The normal V8 engine is located at the front with  an engine displacement of 365/427.  It has a rear-wheel drive, the body and chassis is hand-formed from 064 aluminum with a 125-inch wheelbase alloy tube frame. 

It has a glass cockpit in back, a squared steering wheel and thermostatically controlled air conditioning system.  

The interior is rust colored in contrast to the ruby paintwork. 

The design included the first backseat-mounted radio speakers and hidden windshield wipers,  that started themselves when it rained.  Other features include retractable headlamps, rear indicators that swivel as the car turns, 'floating' bumpers and a trunk that was hinged from the driver's side.  Each of the four bucket seats have their own thermostatically controlled air conditioning, individual cigarette lighters and ashtrays, as well as a radio speaker.  The original engine, a Cadillac V8, was later replaced by a 427 high-performance by Ford when it was taken on the show circuit.

Fred Underdown's New Car..... Oh  that's Dream Car

Darin drove his wife, Sandra Dee, in the car to the 34th Academy Awards  in 1961.

When Bobby drove the car to the Academy Awards, Andrew Di Dia and Steve Blauner followed behind him in a limousine. The car had two fans and a switch that you had to turn on. Bobby didn't realize, so it heated up. All the magazines said the car caught fire but it didn't.

Di Dia toured the car around the country, when Darin wasn't using it for public appearances. After publicity and film use, Darin donated his "Dream Car" to the St Louis Museum of Transportation in 1970 where it remains. 

This is  Andrew Di Dia  the car designer.

Source: Internet

A Few Quirky Facts

George Washington had numerous sets of dentures, including a pair made out of hippopotamus bone. He never had wooden teeth though, that is just a myth.

Thomas Jefferson had a very populist, “common man” view of the presidency. He thought that his predecessors had acted too much like royalty and wanted to remove any pretentions from the office. He would horrify foreign dignitaries by greeting them in his pajamas.  

James Monroe was the last president who was part of the Revolutionary War era. He still liked to dress in late 18th century attire when he was president from 1817 to 1825.

Many people found this bizarre.

It would be like Barack Obama wearing a 1970’s afro. 

 

John Quincy Adams enjoyed skinny-dipping in the Potomac .

John Tyler had 19 children by two different wives. After his first wife died, he married a 24 year old woman named Julia Tyler (nee Gardner ) who was younger than his eldest daughter. Not surprisingly, relations between Tyler and his daughters were strained after that. Also, Tyler ’s own son had previously dated Julia. Awkward.

James K Polk hated shaking hands.   

James Buchanan was the only president who was a lifelong bachelor.

Andrew Johnson was the first president to be impeached. He came within one vote of being removed from office.

Ulysses S Grant was extremely squeamish about blood. That’s right – one of the most famous war generals in American history had a weak stomach.

Rutherford Hayes and his wife Lucy hated alcohol so much that they banned all types of alcoholic beverages from the White House. They horrified visiting foreign dignitaries by serving them water. The first lady was named “Lemonade Lucy”.

William Howard Taft was so large that he became stuck in the White House bathtub. (330 pounds) 

Harry Truman was notoriously hot-tempered. He once sent hate mail to a music critic who had bashed his daughter (a wannabe singer) in a column.

Presidential Quotes

 

“Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we.
They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country
or our people, and neither do we.” – George W Bush

 “This fellow they've nominated claims he's the new Thomas Jefferson. Well, let me tell you something - I knew Thomas Jefferson.He was a friend of mine, and governor... you're no Thomas Jefferson!”

Ronald Reagan, talking about Bill Clinton in 1992.  

“Trees cause more pollution than automobiles do.”– Ronald Reagan

 “I wish to see this beverage become common instead of the whiskey which kills one-third of our citizens and ruins their families.” – Thomas Jefferson, talking about beer.

“Labor disgraces no man. Unfortunately, you occasionally find men disgrace labor.”
- Ulysses Grant

“Being president is like being a jackass in a hailstorm. There's nothing to do but to stand there and take it.” - Lyndon Johnson  

“When a great many people are unable to find work, unemployment results. “ – Calvin Coolidge

Gentlemen, I can run the country or I can control Alice . I cannot do both.” - Theodore Roosevelt, talking about his feisty daughter Alice.

“It’s true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance?” – Ronald Reagan   

“I am not fit for this office and should never have been here.” Warren G Harding (most historians agree with him)

“There is nothing left to do but get drunk” – Franklin Pierce, after learning he was not
going to be nominated for re-election.

“No man who ever held the office of president would congratulate a friend on obtaining it.” – John Adams

“You lose.” - Calvin Coolidge, when a woman told him she had made a bet that she could get him to say more than two words.

“Be yourself. That proved to be the worst advice I could possibly have. And I’m going to be myself. Do it that way.” - George HW Bush’s incoherent response to an awkward question about how his administration would be different from Ronald Reagan’s.  

“There’s an old saying in Tennessee – I know it’s in Texas , probably in Tennessee – that says, fool me once, shame on – shame on you. Fool me – you can’t get fooled again.” – George W Bush   

It depends on what the meaning of the world ‘is’ is.” – Bill Clinton

“I know that the human being and fish can co-exist peacefully!” – George W Bush

Common-looking people are the best in the world - that is why the Lord makes so many of them." - Abraham Lincoln

“I’ve now been in 57 states, one left to go.” - Barack Obama

Gas Stations In Poor Neighborhoods

Might as well give it away.  If someone had to pay for it there would be money involved and the stations would be robbed.  Especially in gun free cities.

 

How much more can they take away from those that earn it and give it to those that didn't??  The goose will very soon stop laying golden eggs and cease to exist. 

 

 

 

Government Opening Free Gas Stations in Poor Neighborhoods
 

 
 As the battle over Obamacare rages in Washington, the White House is quietly using a little known provision of the law to roll out a nationwide network of free gas stations for minorities and the poor.
 
 According to a report in The Detroit News this morning, the administration is using its authority under the Affordable Care Act to "improve transportation routes to hospitals" to dispense gasoline free of cost in disadvantaged neighborhoods.
 
 The $2 billion-a-year program aims to distribute 40 million gallons of free gasoline each year through 70 new gas stations constructed in major metropolitan areas. The Department of Health and Human Services (DHS) will be responsible for operating the network, whose first station opened yesterday in Detroit.
 
 "It's not something we're publicizing very much, for obvious reasons," explains Dori Salcido, assistant DHS secretary for public affairs. "But under the law we are well within our rights to offer this service, and we think it's good public policy.
 
 "How are people supposed to get to the doctor's office if they don't have gas in their cars? Health insurance is worthless if you can't make your appointment. This is just another fine example of government stepping in and solving big problems."
 
No Gas for You
 
 Although some developing oil-rich nations like Venezuela and Indonesia subsidize gasoline for the poor, the practice has never before been tried in the United States. The plans are proving controversial with some taxpayers who are loathe to see their money go to subsidize others.
 
"So basically I'm being punished for not living in the ghetto," says Colin Blair, a white person from the affluent Detroit suburb of Farmington Hills. "I have three kids and a mortgage. Life isn't cheap for me either. I could use some free gasoline too."
 
 An investigation into the station's operations, however, reveals that Blair is unlikely to be able to use the service.
 
 "Supposedly access to the station is determined by income," says Ebony Jackson, manager of the first Obama station. "But it's pretty unrealistic to do an income check on each and every driver. So what we do is basically let all the black people pump for free, and charge all the white people the market rate."
 
 The Obama stations scandal was uncovered by Nolan Finley , a conservative Detroit News columnist widely lauded for his groundbreaking exposé on Obama phones. Finley says the blatant racial bias in the program is only one of its many outrageous aspects.
 
 "The stations have Obama campaign logo on them and giant photos of the president," he explains. "He's trying to buy votes ahead of the midterm elections. This is something you normally only see in third world countries. I've never been more scared for our democracy."
 
Snopes Say's this is true..

 

Source: Internet

September 29, 1959 ... Do You Remember?

DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN RUSSIAN NIKITA KHRUSHCHEV APPEARED AT THE U.N. AND BANGED HIS SHOE ON THE PODIUM? (Yes) THIS IS HIS ENTIRE QUOTE:

 

"The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not." --Thomas Jefferson

 

"How to Create the Social State" (because socialism leads to communism) by Saul Alinsky:

 

There are 8 levels of control that must be obtained before you are able to create a social state:

The first is the most important.

 

1) Healthcare - Control healthcare and you control the people.

 

2) Poverty - Increase the Poverty level as high as possible, poor people are easier to control and will not fight back if you are providing everything for them to live.

 

3) Debt - Increase the debt to an unsustainable level. That way you are able to increase taxes, and this will produce more poverty.

 

4) Gun Control - Remove the ability to defend themselves from the Government. That way you are able to create a police state.

 

5) Welfare - Take control of every aspect (food, housing, income) of their lives because that will make them fully dependent on the government. - this is a form of slavery!!!

 

6) Education - Take control of what people read and listen to and take control of what children learn in school.

 

7) Religion - Remove the belief in God from the Government and schools because the people need to believe in ONLY the government knowing what is best for the people.

 

8) Class Warfare - Divide the people into the wealthy and the poor. Eliminate the middle class. This will cause more discontent and it will be easier to tax the wealthy with the support of the poor.

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"Freedom is a fragile thing and is never more than one generation away from extinction. It is not ours by inheritance; it must be fought for and defended constantly by each generation, for it comes only once to a people. Those who have known freedom and then lost it, have never known it again." --- Ronald Reagan

"IN GOD WE TRUST!"

 

 

J.S. Lenz

 

NRA (Life), ISRA, ANA, EAC, AGA, Patriot, Constitutionalist,

Ineptocracy ( in-ep-toc'-ra-cy ) 

 

A system of government where the least capable to lead are

elected by the least capable of producing, and where members

of society least likely to sustain themselves or succeed and are

rewarded with goods and services paid for by the confiscated

wealth of a diminishing number of producers.

 

"God Bless America!" & "Defend the Constitution and Our Bill of Rights!"

Update Adages

Double Talk

A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?"

She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by."

"No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?"

"It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," she responded.

"I mean," he continued, "what are your relations like?"

"I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband's parents."

He said, "Do you have a real grudge?"

"No," she replied. "We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one."

"Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in your marriage?"

"Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes."

"Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?"

"Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do."

Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a divorce?"

"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he can't communicate with me!"

Conversations In 1955

 'I'll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, it's going to be impossible to buy a week's groceries for $20.00.'

 'Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won't be long before $2,000.00 will only buy a used one.'

 'If cigarettes keep going up in price, I'm going to quit. A quarter a pack is ridiculous.

 'Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging a dime just to mail a letter?'

 'If they raise the minimum wage to $1.00, nobody will be able to hire outside help at the store.'

 'When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would someday cost 29 cents a gallon. Guess we'd be better off leaving the car in the garage.'

 'Kids today are impossible. Those duck tail haircuts make it impossible to stay groomed. Next thing you know, boys will be wearing their hair as long as the girls.'

 'I'm afraid to send my kids to the movies anymore. Ever since they let Clark Gable get by with saying DAMN in GONE WITH THE WIND, it seems every new movie has either HELL of DAMN in it.'

 'I read the other day where some scientist thinks it's possible to put a man on the moon by the end of the century. They even have some fellows they call astronauts preparing for it down in Texas.'

 'Did you see where some baseball player just signed a contract for $75,000 a year just to play ball? It wouldn't surprise me if someday they'll be making more than the President.'

 'I never thought I'd see the day all our kitchen appliances would be electric. They are even making electric typewriters now.'

 'It's too bad things are so tough nowadays. I see where a few married women are having to work to make ends meet.'

 'It won't be long before young couples are going to have to hire someone to watch their
kids so they can both work.'

'Marriage doesn't mean a thing any more, those Hollywood stars seem to be getting divorced at the drop of a hat.'

 'I'm afraid the Volkswagen car is going to open the door to a whole lot of foreign business.'

 'Thank goodness I won't live to see the day when the Government takes half our income in taxes. I sometimes wonder if we are electing the best people to congress.'

 'The drive-in restaurant is convenient in nice weather, but I seriously doubt they will ever catch on.'

 'There is no sense going to Lincoln or Omaha anymore for a weekend, it costs nearly $15.00 a night to stay in a hotel.'

 'No one can afford to be sick anymore, at $35.00 a day in the hospital it's too rich for my blood.'

 'If they think I'll pay 50 cents for a hair cut, forget it.'

Wake Up Your Brain

"Check this out and don't look at answers first."

Enjoy and laugh at yourself.

1. Johnny 's mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May. ...What was the third child 's name? 2. There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall and he wears size 13 sneakers....What does he weigh? 3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, ...what was the highest mountain in the world? 4. How much dirt is there in a hole ...that measures two feet by three feet by four feet? 5. What word in the English Language ...is always spelled incorrectly? 6. Billy was born on December 28th, yet his birthday is always in the summer. ....How is this possible? 7. In California , you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. ...Why not? 8. What was the President 's Name...in 1975? 9. If you were running a race, ...and you passed the person in 2nd place, what place would you be in now? 10. Which is correct to say,... "The yolk of the egg are white" or "The yolk of the egg is white"? 11. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, ....how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in another field?   Here are the Answers 1. Johnny 's mother had three children. The first child was named April The second child was named May. What was the third child 's name? Answer:Johnny of course 2. There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall, and he wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh? Answer: Meat. 3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world? Answer: Mt. Everest; it just wasn't discovered yet. [ You 're not very good at this are you?] 4. How much dirt is there in a hole that measures two feet by three feet by four feet? Answer: There is no dirt in a hole. 5. What word in the English Language is always spelled incorrectly? Answer: Incorrectly 6. Billy was born on December 28th, yet his birthday is always in the summer. How is this possible? Answer: Billy lives in the Southern Hemisphere 7. In California , you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not? Answer: You can 't take pictures with a wooden leg. You need a camera to take pictures. 8. What was the President 's Name in 1975? Answer: Same as is it now - Barack Obama [Oh, come on ...] 9. If you were running a race, and you passed the person in 2nd place, what place would you be in now? Answer: You would be in 2nd. Well, you passed the person in second place, not first. 10. Which is correct to say, "The yolk of the egg are white" or "The yolk of the egg is white"? Answer: Neither, the yolk of the egg is yellow [Duh] 11. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in another field? Answer: One. If he combines all of his haystacks, they all become one big one.

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IMPOSSIBILITIES IN THE WORLD

 

1) You can't count your hair.

2) You can't wash your eyes with soap.

3) You can't breathe through your nose when your tongue is out.

Put your tongue back in your mouth, you silly person.

 

Ten (10) Things I know about you.

1) You are reading this.

2) You are human.

3) You can't say the letter ''P'' without separating your lips.

4) You just attempted to do it.

6) You are laughing at yourself.

7) You have a smile on your face and you skipped No. 5.

8) You just checked to see if there is a No. 5.

9) You laugh at this because you are a fun loving person & everyone does it too.

10) You are probably going to send this to see who else falls for it.

 

You have received this e-mail because I didn't want to be alone in the idiot category.

This Was Written By A 21 Year Old Female Who Gets It

IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER,YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM"
 

WRITTEN BY A 21 YEAR OLD FEMALE Wow, this girl has a great plan! Love the last thing she would do.... the best.

This was written by a 21 yr old female who gets it. It's her future she's worried about and this is how she feels about the social welfare big government state that she's being forced to live in! These solutions are just common sense in her opinion. 

 

This was in the Waco Tribune Herald, Waco , TX 

 

PUT ME IN CHARGE . . .

Put me in charge of food stamps. I'd get rid of Lone Star cards; no cash for Ding Dongs or Ho Ho's, just money for 50-pound bags of rice and beans, blocks of cheese and all the powdered milk you can haul away. If you want steak and frozen pizza, then get a job. 

 

Put me in charge of Medicaid. The first thing I'd do is to get women Norplant birth control implants or tubal ligations. Then, we'll test recipients for drugs, alcohol, and nicotine. If you want to reproduce or use drugs, alcohol, or smoke, then get a job.

 

Put me in charge of government housing. Ever live in a military barracks? You will maintain our property in a clean and good state of repair. Your home" will be subject to inspections anytime and possessions will be inventoried. If you want a plasma TV or Xbox 360, then get a job and your own place. 

 

In addition, you will either present a check stub from a job each week or you will report to a "government" job. It may be cleaning the roadways of trash, painting and repairing public housing, whatever we find for you. We will sell your 22 inch rims and low profile tires and your blasting stereo and speakers and put that money toward the "common good.." 

 

Before you write that I've violated someone's rights, realize that all of the above is voluntary. If you want our money, accept our rules. Before you say that this would be "demeaning" and ruin their "self esteem," consider that it wasn't that long ago that taking someone else's money for doing absolutely nothing was demeaning and lowered self esteem. 

 

If we are expected to pay for other people's mistakes we should at least attempt to make them learn from their bad choices. The current system rewards them for continuing to make bad choices.

 

AND While you are on Government subsistence, you no longer can VOTE! Yes, that is correct. For you to vote would be a conflict of interest. You will voluntarily remove yourself from voting while you are receiving a Government welfare check. If you want to vote, then get a job.

Source: Internet

A Short Poem You Won't Forget

REMEMBER TO VOTE THEM OUT........

A SHORT POEM YOU WON'T FORGET

"A bump in the road" .... remember that calloused statement? I don't know the author of this poem... I just received it today.

Very thought provoking and poignant. I do recall, however, the President referring to the Benghazi incident as "a bump in the road." Today I heard an ex-Navy Seal being interviewed on Fox News regarding a book he has written about how to handle crisis situations in our lives. At the end of the interview he asked if he could make a comment on Benghazi and of course the anchor said yes. He then thanked Fox News for keeping the Benghazi story in the news, since other news organizations are not. He said the Seals who died deserve the public knowing the truth about the whole affair.

This poem was written by a MARINE CORPS Officer (ANON)

 

THE BATTLING BOYS OF BENGHAZI

We're the battling boys of Benghazi
No fame, no glory, no paparazzi.

Just a fiery death in a blazing hell
Defending our country we loved so well.

It wasn't our job, but we answered the call,
fought to the Consulate and scaled the wall.

We pulled twenty Countrymen from the jaws of fate
Led them to safety, and stood at the gate.

Just the two of us, and foes by the score,
But we stood fast to bar the door.

Three calls for reinforcement, but all were denied,
So we fought, and we fought, and we fought 'til we died.

We gave our all for our Uncle Sam,
But Barack Obama didn't give a damn.

Just two dead seals who carried the load?
No thanks to us.........we were just "Bumps In The Road".

So will this reach every American with a computer? Or do we act like the press and give a pass to the incompetent people who literally sat there in the White House and watched the Seal's execution on live streaming video and did absolutely nothing? The Obama Administration obviously won't be held accountable because we apparently accept Hillary Clinton's statement, "What difference does it make?"

Source: Email