Thursday, May 21, 2015

Because I'm A Man


Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle 
with a wire clothes hanger and ignore your suggestions that 
we call a road service until long after hypothermia has set in.

Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop 
the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what the heck I'm 
looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other,
 "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these darn
computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start."
We will then drink beer.

Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to 
bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. 
You never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn't an issue.

Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries
 at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find 
exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu." For all I know, these are the 
same thing. And never, under any circumstances, expect me to pick 
up anything for which "feminine hygiene product" is a euphemism.

Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I 
will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost
 me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has
 to put it back together.

Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in 
my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, 
I may miss a whole show looking for it (though one time I 
was able to survive by holding a calculator).

Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking 
about. The answer is always either sex, cars, or food, though 
I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't.

Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your
 mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about 
her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's 
Day is okay, I don't need to see it. And don't forget to pick 
up something for my mom, too!

Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie.
Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't.

Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought 
what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either 
pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it looks fine. 
Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?

Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the 21st century,
 I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry,
 the cooking, the gardening, the cleaning, and the dishes.
 I'll do the rest.

Source: mamarocks

Another Way To Say Bye Bye To Your Kids

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How To Say Bye bye To Kids
See you later alligator
In a while crocodile
Out the door dinosaur
Chop chop lollipop
See you soon baboon
Take care polar bear
Give a hug lady bug
In an hour sunflower
Maybe two kangaroo
Better swish jellyfish
Chow chow brown cow
Better shake rattlesnake
Bye bye butterfly
Gotta go buffalo
Let's jam sam
Blow a kiss goldfish
Be sweet parakeet!

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Source: mamarocks

Life Is Too Short

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Life Is Too Short
...To wake up in the morning
with regrets. So love the
people who treat you right,
and forgive the ones who don't.
And believe that everything
happens for a reason.
If you get a chance, take it.
If it changes your life, let it.
Nobody said it would be easy,
They just promised...
It would be worth it!
Happiness can't be bought,
it would be too expensive...
You have to make your own.
Happy are they that take life day
by day, complain very little, and
are happy for the little things in life!
At the end of the day, it's not
about being pretty and popular,
it's about being healthy and happy!
Laugh when you can 
Apologize when you should...
And let go of what you cannot change.
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Source: Mamarocks.com

Today

I've shut the door on yesterday,
Its sorrows and mistakes,
I've locked within its gloomy walls
Past failures and heartaches.

And now I throw the key away
To seek another room,
And furnish it with hope and smiles
And every springtime bloom.

No thought shall enter this abode
That has a hint of pain,
All worry, malice and distrust
Shall never therein reign.

I've shut the door on Yesterday
And thrown the key away -
The Future holds no doubt for me,
Since I have found Today!

Friday, May 1, 2015

All Because You Smiled


Sometimes you feel you want to cry 
And life seems such a trial... 
But above the clouds there's a bright blue sky
 To make your tears a smile. 

As you travel along life's way
 With its many ups and downs,
Remember that it's true to say
One smile is worth a dozen frowns! 

Happiness comes at times to all,
But sadness comes unbidden...
And sometimes a few tears must fall
Among the laughter hidden. 

So when your friends are feeling down
 And troubles round them piled...
The world will seem a better place
And all because YOU SMILED!