Well, Girl Potato and Boy Potato had eyes for each other, and finally they got married, and had a little sweet potato, which they called 'Yam.' Of course, they wanted the best for Yam.
When it was time, they told her about the facts of life. They warned her about going out and getting half-baked, so she wouldn't get accidentally mashed, and get a bad name for herself like 'Hot Potato,' and end up with a bunch of Tater Tots. Yam said not to worry, no Spud would get her into the sack and make a rotten potato out of her! But on the other hand she wouldn't stay home and become a Couch Potato either.
She would get plenty of exercise so as not to be skinny like her Shoestring cousins.
When she went off to Europe, Mr. and Mrs. Potato told Yam to watch out for the hard-boiled guys from Ireland. And the greasy guys from France called the French Fries. And when she went out west, to watch out for the Indians so she wouldn't get scalloped.
Yam said she would stay on the straight and narrow and wouldn't associate with those high class Yukon Golds, or the ones from the other side of the tracks who advertise
their trade on all the trucks that say, 'Frito Lay.' Mr. and Mrs. Potato sent Yam to Idaho P.U. (that's Potato University) so that when she graduated she'd really be in the Chips.
But in spite of all they did for her, one-day Yam came home and announced she was going to marry Tom Brokaw. Tom Brokaw! Mr. and Mrs. Potato were very upset. They told Yam she couldn't possibly marry Tom Brokaw because he's just.... Are you ready for this? Are you sure?............................
OK! Here it is! Scroll Down....
A COMMON TATER!
Source: Internet
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Family Ties
Family Ties are precious things
Woven through the years,
Of memories of togetherness,
Of laughter, love and tears.
Family Ties are cherished things,
Forged in childhood days,
By love of parents, deep and true,
By tradition, by family ways.
Family Ties are treasured things
And far though we may roam,
The tender bond with those we love
Still pulls our heart towards home.
Author Unknown
Source: Internet
Woven through the years,
Of memories of togetherness,
Of laughter, love and tears.
Family Ties are cherished things,
Forged in childhood days,
By love of parents, deep and true,
By tradition, by family ways.
Family Ties are treasured things
And far though we may roam,
The tender bond with those we love
Still pulls our heart towards home.
Author Unknown
Source: Internet
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Our Annual Dementia Test
It's that time of year to take our annual senior citizen test.
Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles.
As we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't
use it you lose it! below is a very private way to gauge your loss or
non-loss of intelligence.
Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or not.
The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you've made
your answer.
OK, relax, clear your mind and begin.
1. What do you put in a toaster?
Answer: 'bread' If you said 'toast', give up now and do something else.
Try not to hurt yourself. If you said 'bread' go to question 2.
2. Say 'silk' five times. Now spell 'silk'.
What do cows drink?
Answer: Cows drink water. if you said 'milk' don't attempt the next
question. Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat.
Content yourself with reading more appropriate literature
with lots of pictures. However, if you said 'water. proceed
to question 3
3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made
of blue bricks and a pink house is made of pink bricks and a black
house is made of black bricks, what is a green house made from?
Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said 'green bricks'
why are you still reading these ????
If you said 'glass' go on to question 4
4. It's twenty odd years ago, and a plane is flying at 20.000 feet
over Germany (If you recall, Germany at that time was politically divided into
West Germany and East Germany) Anyway, during the flight, two
engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also
failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the
engine fails before he can do so and the plane
fatally crashes smack in the middle of 'no man's land' between
East Germany and West Germany. Where would you bury the
survivors? East Germany, West Germany, or no man's land?
Answer: You don't bury survivors.
If you said ANYTHING else, you're a dunce and you must stop. If you said,
'You don't bury survivors' proceed to the next question.
5. Without using a calculator - you are driving a bus from London to
Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In
Reading, six people get off the bus and nine people get on. In Swindon,
two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off
and 16 people get on. In Swansea, three people get off and five people
get on. In Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford
Heaven. What is the name of the bus driver?
Answer: Oh, for crying out loud!
Don't you remember your own name? It was YOU !!!
Now if you pass this along to your friends you need to pray they
do better than you. p.s. 95% of people fail these questions.
Source: Internet
Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles.
As we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't
use it you lose it! below is a very private way to gauge your loss or
non-loss of intelligence.
Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or not.
The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you've made
your answer.
OK, relax, clear your mind and begin.
1. What do you put in a toaster?
Answer: 'bread' If you said 'toast', give up now and do something else.
Try not to hurt yourself. If you said 'bread' go to question 2.
2. Say 'silk' five times. Now spell 'silk'.
What do cows drink?
Answer: Cows drink water. if you said 'milk' don't attempt the next
question. Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat.
Content yourself with reading more appropriate literature
with lots of pictures. However, if you said 'water. proceed
to question 3
3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made
of blue bricks and a pink house is made of pink bricks and a black
house is made of black bricks, what is a green house made from?
Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said 'green bricks'
why are you still reading these ????
If you said 'glass' go on to question 4
4. It's twenty odd years ago, and a plane is flying at 20.000 feet
over Germany (If you recall, Germany at that time was politically divided into
West Germany and East Germany) Anyway, during the flight, two
engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also
failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the
engine fails before he can do so and the plane
fatally crashes smack in the middle of 'no man's land' between
East Germany and West Germany. Where would you bury the
survivors? East Germany, West Germany, or no man's land?
Answer: You don't bury survivors.
If you said ANYTHING else, you're a dunce and you must stop. If you said,
'You don't bury survivors' proceed to the next question.
5. Without using a calculator - you are driving a bus from London to
Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In
Reading, six people get off the bus and nine people get on. In Swindon,
two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off
and 16 people get on. In Swansea, three people get off and five people
get on. In Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford
Heaven. What is the name of the bus driver?
Answer: Oh, for crying out loud!
Don't you remember your own name? It was YOU !!!
Now if you pass this along to your friends you need to pray they
do better than you. p.s. 95% of people fail these questions.
Source: Internet
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Burma Shave
HISTORY OF THE BURMA SHAVE SIGNS IN AMERICA:
America in the 1930's was torn by the Great Depression. Spirits were low.
But here was a little company brightening the countryside with cheerful rhymes...and at the same time advertising their product.
The signs brought a lightheartedness to a nation in hard times.
Burma Shave (Shaving Cream) signs the were so much fun to look forward to when traveling on roads across the United States.
DRIVING DOWN MEMORY LANE
with Burma Shave signs!
Do these bring back any old memories?
If not, you're merely a child.
If they do - then you're old as dirt...
SHE WILL
FLOOD YOUR FACE
WITH KISSES 'CAUSE YOU SMELL
SO DARN DELICIOUS
Burma Shave
THIS CREAM MAKES THE
GARDENER'S DAUGHTER
PLANT HER TU-LIPS
WHERE SHE OUGHTER
BURMA-SHAVE
DON'T LOSE YOUR HEAD
TO GAIN A MINUTE
YOU NEED YOUR HEAD
YOUR BRAINS ARE IN IT
Burma Shave
SHE EYED HIS BEARD
AND SAID, "NO DICE
THE WEDDING'S OFF-
I'LL COOK THE RICE"
Burma Shave
CAUTIOUS RIDER
TO HER RECKLESS DEAR
LET'S HAVE LESS BULL
AND MORE STEER
Burma Shave
LISTEN BIRDS
THESE SIGNS COST MONEY
SO ROOST AWHILE
BUT DON'T GET FUNNY
Burma Shave
THIS WILL NEVER
COME TO PASS
A BACK-SEAT DRIVER
OUT OF GAS
Burma Shave
FOLLOWING TOO CLOSE
WAS A LOT OF BUNK
TILL THEY PULLED HIM
FROM SOMEONES TRUNK
Burma Shave
USE THIS CREAM
A DAY OR TWO
THEN DON'T CALL HER
SHE'LL CALL YOU
Burma Shave
THE MIDNIGHT RIDE
OF PAUL FOR BEER
LED TO A WARMER
HEMISPHERE
Burma Shave
DON'T STICK YOUR ELBOW
OUT SO FAR
IT MAY GO HOME
IN ANOTHER CAR
Burma Shave
DOESN'T KISS YOU
LIKE SHE USETER?
PERHAPS SHE'S SEEN
A SMOOTHER ROOSTER!!
Burma Shave
Source: Internet
America in the 1930's was torn by the Great Depression. Spirits were low.
But here was a little company brightening the countryside with cheerful rhymes...and at the same time advertising their product.
The signs brought a lightheartedness to a nation in hard times.
Burma Shave (Shaving Cream) signs the were so much fun to look forward to when traveling on roads across the United States.
DRIVING DOWN MEMORY LANE
with Burma Shave signs!
Do these bring back any old memories?
If not, you're merely a child.
If they do - then you're old as dirt...
SHE WILL
FLOOD YOUR FACE
WITH KISSES 'CAUSE YOU SMELL
SO DARN DELICIOUS
Burma Shave
THIS CREAM MAKES THE
GARDENER'S DAUGHTER
PLANT HER TU-LIPS
WHERE SHE OUGHTER
BURMA-SHAVE
DON'T LOSE YOUR HEAD
TO GAIN A MINUTE
YOU NEED YOUR HEAD
YOUR BRAINS ARE IN IT
Burma Shave
SHE EYED HIS BEARD
AND SAID, "NO DICE
THE WEDDING'S OFF-
I'LL COOK THE RICE"
Burma Shave
CAUTIOUS RIDER
TO HER RECKLESS DEAR
LET'S HAVE LESS BULL
AND MORE STEER
Burma Shave
LISTEN BIRDS
THESE SIGNS COST MONEY
SO ROOST AWHILE
BUT DON'T GET FUNNY
Burma Shave
THIS WILL NEVER
COME TO PASS
A BACK-SEAT DRIVER
OUT OF GAS
Burma Shave
FOLLOWING TOO CLOSE
WAS A LOT OF BUNK
TILL THEY PULLED HIM
FROM SOMEONES TRUNK
Burma Shave
USE THIS CREAM
A DAY OR TWO
THEN DON'T CALL HER
SHE'LL CALL YOU
Burma Shave
THE MIDNIGHT RIDE
OF PAUL FOR BEER
LED TO A WARMER
HEMISPHERE
Burma Shave
DON'T STICK YOUR ELBOW
OUT SO FAR
IT MAY GO HOME
IN ANOTHER CAR
Burma Shave
DOESN'T KISS YOU
LIKE SHE USETER?
PERHAPS SHE'S SEEN
A SMOOTHER ROOSTER!!
Burma Shave
Source: Internet
Conversations In 1955
'I'll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, it's going to be impossible to buy a week's groceries for $20.00.'
'Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won't be long before $2,000.00 will only buy a used one.'
'If cigarettes keep going up in price, I'm going to quit. A quarter a pack is ridiculous.
'Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging a dime just to mail a letter?'
'If they raise the minimum wage to $1.00, nobody will be able to hire outside help at the store.'
'When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would someday cost 29 cents a gallon. Guess we'd be better off leaving the car in the garage.'
'Kids today are impossible. Those duck tail hair cuts make it impossible to stay groomed. Next thing you know, boys will be wearing their hair as long as the girls.'
'I'm afraid to send my kids to the movies any more. Ever since they let Clark Gable get by with saying DAMN in GONE WITH THE WIND, it seems every new movie has either HELL of DAMN in it.'
'I read the other day where some scientist thinks it's possible to put a man on the moon by the end of the century. They even have some fellows they call astronauts
preparing for it down in Texas.'
'Did you see where some baseball player just signed a contract for $75,000 a year just to play ball? It wouldn't surprise me if someday they'll be making more than the President.'
'I never thought I'd see the day all our kitchen appliances would be electric. They are even making electric typewriters now.'
'It's too bad things are so tough nowadays. I see where a few married women are
having to work to make ends meet.'
'It won't be long before young couples are going to have to hire someone to watch their kids so they can both work.'
'Marriage doesn't mean a thing any more, those Hollywood stars seem to be getting divorced at the drop of a hat.'
'I'm afraid the Volkswagen car is going to open the door to a whole lot of foreign business.'
'Thank goodness I won't live to see the day when the Government takes half our income in taxes. I sometimes wonder if we are electing the best people to congress.'
'The drive-in restaurant is convenient in nice weather, but I seriously doubt they will ever catch on.'
'There is no sense going to Lincoln or Omaha anymore for a weekend, it costs nearly $15.00 a night to stay in a hotel.'
'No one can afford to be sick anymore, at $35.00 a day in the hospital it's too rich for my blood.'
'If they think I'll pay 50 cents for a hair cut, forget it.'
Source: Internet
'Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won't be long before $2,000.00 will only buy a used one.'
'If cigarettes keep going up in price, I'm going to quit. A quarter a pack is ridiculous.
'Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging a dime just to mail a letter?'
'If they raise the minimum wage to $1.00, nobody will be able to hire outside help at the store.'
'When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would someday cost 29 cents a gallon. Guess we'd be better off leaving the car in the garage.'
'Kids today are impossible. Those duck tail hair cuts make it impossible to stay groomed. Next thing you know, boys will be wearing their hair as long as the girls.'
'I'm afraid to send my kids to the movies any more. Ever since they let Clark Gable get by with saying DAMN in GONE WITH THE WIND, it seems every new movie has either HELL of DAMN in it.'
'I read the other day where some scientist thinks it's possible to put a man on the moon by the end of the century. They even have some fellows they call astronauts
preparing for it down in Texas.'
'Did you see where some baseball player just signed a contract for $75,000 a year just to play ball? It wouldn't surprise me if someday they'll be making more than the President.'
'I never thought I'd see the day all our kitchen appliances would be electric. They are even making electric typewriters now.'
'It's too bad things are so tough nowadays. I see where a few married women are
having to work to make ends meet.'
'It won't be long before young couples are going to have to hire someone to watch their kids so they can both work.'
'Marriage doesn't mean a thing any more, those Hollywood stars seem to be getting divorced at the drop of a hat.'
'I'm afraid the Volkswagen car is going to open the door to a whole lot of foreign business.'
'Thank goodness I won't live to see the day when the Government takes half our income in taxes. I sometimes wonder if we are electing the best people to congress.'
'The drive-in restaurant is convenient in nice weather, but I seriously doubt they will ever catch on.'
'There is no sense going to Lincoln or Omaha anymore for a weekend, it costs nearly $15.00 a night to stay in a hotel.'
'No one can afford to be sick anymore, at $35.00 a day in the hospital it's too rich for my blood.'
'If they think I'll pay 50 cents for a hair cut, forget it.'
Source: Internet
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
My Son!
This is great. Take a moment to read it; it will make your day!
The ending will surprise you.
Take my Son.....
A wealthy man and his son loved to collect rare works of art. They had everything in their collection, from Picasso to Raphael. They would often sit together and admire the great works of art..
When the Vietnamconflict broke out, the son went to war. He was very courageous and died in battle while rescuing another soldier. The father was notified and grieved deeply for his only son.
About a month later, just before Christmas,
There was a knock at the door. A young man stood at the door with a large package in his hands..
He said, 'Sir, you don't know me, but I am the soldier for whom your son gave his life. He saved many lives that day, and he was carrying me to safety when a bullet struck him in the heart and he died instantly... He often talked about you, and your love for art.' The young man held out this package. 'I know this isn't much. I'm not really a great artist, but I think your son would have wanted you to have this.'
The father
Opened the package. It was a portrait of his son, painted by the young man. He stared in awe at the way the soldier had captured the personality of his son in the painting. The father was so drawn to the eyes that his own eyes welled up with tears. He thanked the young man and offered to pay him for the picture.. 'Oh, no sir, I could never repay what your son did for me. It's a gift.'
The father hung the portrait over his mantle. Every time visitors came to his home he took them to see the portrait of his son before he showed them any of the other great works he had collected.
The man died a few months later. There was to be a great auction of his paintings. Many influential people gathered, excited over seeing the great paintings and having an opportunity to purchase one for their collection.
On the platform sat the painting of the son. The auctioneer pounded his gavel. 'We will start the bidding with this picture of the son. Who will bid for this picture?'
There was silence...
Then a voice in the back of the room shouted, 'We want to see the famous paintings. Skip this one.'
But the auctioneer persisted. 'Will somebody bid for this painting? Who will start the bidding? $100, $200?'
Another voice angrily. 'We didn't come to see this painting. We came to see the Van Gogh's, the Rembrandts. Get on with the Real bids!'
But still the auctioneer continued. 'The son! The son! Who'll take the son?'
Finally, a voice came from the very back of the room. It was the longtime gardener of the man and his son. 'I'll give $10 for the painting...' Being a poor man, it was all he could afford.
'We have $10, who will bid $20?'
'Give it to him for $10. Let's see the masters.'
The crowd was becoming angry. They didn't want the picture of the son.
They wanted the more worthy investments for their collections.
The auctioneer pounded the gavel.. 'Going once, twice, SOLD for $10!'
A man sitting on the second row shouted, 'Now let's get on with the collection!'
The auctioneer laid down his gavel. 'I'm sorry, the auction is over.'
'What about the paintings?'
'I am sorry. When I was called to conduct this auction, I was told of a secret stipulation in the will... I was not allowed to reveal that stipulation until this time. Only the painting of the son would be auctioned. Whoever bought that painting would inherit the entire estate, including the paintings.
The man who took the son gets everything!'
God gave His son over 2,000 years ago to die on the Cross. Much like the auctioneer, His message today is: 'The Son, the Son, who'll take the Son?'
Because, you see, whoever takes the Son gets everything!
FOR GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD HE GAVE HIS ONLY BEGOTTEN SON, WHO SO EVER BELIEVETH, SHALL HAVE ETERNAL LIFE...THAT'S LOVE
Please send this to ten people and back to the one who sent it to you.
God Bless.
If I don't get this back, I will know you really didn't read it. I got this from someone and thought the last part was really a good thought..
Too bad that the person who sent it to me didnot know 10 people who would admit to knowing the Lord.
LIVE EACH DAY AS YOUR LAST, one day it will be.
Source: Email
The ending will surprise you.
Take my Son.....
A wealthy man and his son loved to collect rare works of art. They had everything in their collection, from Picasso to Raphael. They would often sit together and admire the great works of art..
When the Vietnamconflict broke out, the son went to war. He was very courageous and died in battle while rescuing another soldier. The father was notified and grieved deeply for his only son.
About a month later, just before Christmas,
There was a knock at the door. A young man stood at the door with a large package in his hands..
He said, 'Sir, you don't know me, but I am the soldier for whom your son gave his life. He saved many lives that day, and he was carrying me to safety when a bullet struck him in the heart and he died instantly... He often talked about you, and your love for art.' The young man held out this package. 'I know this isn't much. I'm not really a great artist, but I think your son would have wanted you to have this.'
The father
Opened the package. It was a portrait of his son, painted by the young man. He stared in awe at the way the soldier had captured the personality of his son in the painting. The father was so drawn to the eyes that his own eyes welled up with tears. He thanked the young man and offered to pay him for the picture.. 'Oh, no sir, I could never repay what your son did for me. It's a gift.'
The father hung the portrait over his mantle. Every time visitors came to his home he took them to see the portrait of his son before he showed them any of the other great works he had collected.
The man died a few months later. There was to be a great auction of his paintings. Many influential people gathered, excited over seeing the great paintings and having an opportunity to purchase one for their collection.
On the platform sat the painting of the son. The auctioneer pounded his gavel. 'We will start the bidding with this picture of the son. Who will bid for this picture?'
There was silence...
Then a voice in the back of the room shouted, 'We want to see the famous paintings. Skip this one.'
But the auctioneer persisted. 'Will somebody bid for this painting? Who will start the bidding? $100, $200?'
Another voice angrily. 'We didn't come to see this painting. We came to see the Van Gogh's, the Rembrandts. Get on with the Real bids!'
But still the auctioneer continued. 'The son! The son! Who'll take the son?'
Finally, a voice came from the very back of the room. It was the longtime gardener of the man and his son. 'I'll give $10 for the painting...' Being a poor man, it was all he could afford.
'We have $10, who will bid $20?'
'Give it to him for $10. Let's see the masters.'
The crowd was becoming angry. They didn't want the picture of the son.
They wanted the more worthy investments for their collections.
The auctioneer pounded the gavel.. 'Going once, twice, SOLD for $10!'
A man sitting on the second row shouted, 'Now let's get on with the collection!'
The auctioneer laid down his gavel. 'I'm sorry, the auction is over.'
'What about the paintings?'
'I am sorry. When I was called to conduct this auction, I was told of a secret stipulation in the will... I was not allowed to reveal that stipulation until this time. Only the painting of the son would be auctioned. Whoever bought that painting would inherit the entire estate, including the paintings.
The man who took the son gets everything!'
God gave His son over 2,000 years ago to die on the Cross. Much like the auctioneer, His message today is: 'The Son, the Son, who'll take the Son?'
Because, you see, whoever takes the Son gets everything!
FOR GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD HE GAVE HIS ONLY BEGOTTEN SON, WHO SO EVER BELIEVETH, SHALL HAVE ETERNAL LIFE...THAT'S LOVE
Please send this to ten people and back to the one who sent it to you.
God Bless.
If I don't get this back, I will know you really didn't read it. I got this from someone and thought the last part was really a good thought..
Too bad that the person who sent it to me didnot know 10 people who would admit to knowing the Lord.
LIVE EACH DAY AS YOUR LAST, one day it will be.
Source: Email
Friday, September 21, 2012
The Train Of Life
Some folks ride the train of life
Looking out the rear,
Watching miles of life roll by,
And marking every year.
They sit in sad remembrance,
Of wasted days gone by,
And curse their life for what it was,
And hang their heads and cry.
But, I don't concern myself with that,
I took a different vent,
I look forward to what life holds,
And not what has been spent.
So strap me to the engine.
As securely as I can be,
I want to be out on the front,
To see what I can see.
I want to feel the winds of change,
Blowing in my face,
I want to see what life unfolds,
As I move from place to place.
I want to see what's coming up,
Not looking at the past,
Life's too short for yesterdays,
It moves along too fast.
So if the ride gets bumpy,
While you are looking back,
Go up front and you may find,
Your life has jumped the track.
It's all right to remember,
'That's part of history,
But up front's where it's happening,
There's so much mystery.
The enjoyment of living,
Is not where we have been,
It's looking ever forward,
To another year and ten.
It's searching all the byways,
Never should you refrain,
For if you want to live your life,
You've gotta drive the train!
Author Unknown
Source: Internet
Looking out the rear,
Watching miles of life roll by,
And marking every year.
They sit in sad remembrance,
Of wasted days gone by,
And curse their life for what it was,
And hang their heads and cry.
But, I don't concern myself with that,
I took a different vent,
I look forward to what life holds,
And not what has been spent.
So strap me to the engine.
As securely as I can be,
I want to be out on the front,
To see what I can see.
I want to feel the winds of change,
Blowing in my face,
I want to see what life unfolds,
As I move from place to place.
I want to see what's coming up,
Not looking at the past,
Life's too short for yesterdays,
It moves along too fast.
So if the ride gets bumpy,
While you are looking back,
Go up front and you may find,
Your life has jumped the track.
It's all right to remember,
'That's part of history,
But up front's where it's happening,
There's so much mystery.
The enjoyment of living,
Is not where we have been,
It's looking ever forward,
To another year and ten.
It's searching all the byways,
Never should you refrain,
For if you want to live your life,
You've gotta drive the train!
Author Unknown
Source: Internet
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