Friday, April 26, 2013

Redneck Olympics

Skipping Rocks

The oldest and most traditional of all Redneck games. The heavy-weight division is most popular, as contestants  try to skip bricks.

Flinging

Originated by an ancient Redneck trying to clean his yard.  A great fling is not only a beautiful thing to watch, but often it is accompanied by the exciting  sound of something breaking.

Rowing

Not the most popular sport because most Rednecks agree that, "If you can't afford a motor, you can't afford a boat."

Long Jump

This sport is a Redneck favorite, since they all own numerous sets of jumper cables and all their vehicles have dead or dying batteries.

Hog Calling

The good ones can bring a sow into Times Square using only their voice. 

Tracking

We're not talking about anything as sissy as following a blood trail.  A good tracker can trail a grasshopper down the interstate.  A favorite put down in this sport is,  "You couldn't track a slug across a sheet of glass."

Field Hockey

Who can run the farthest through a cow pasture without stepping in "you know what." A real exciting game when played at night with flashlights.

Bush Hogging For Distance

Put her in drive and hold on tight! A blatant disregard for personal property is an essential for this game. 

2x4 Relay

Originated at night on construction sites by people looking to enlarge their homes at budget prices.

Source: Internet