The Little Things

Little stones make big mountains,
Little steps can cover miles,
Little acts of loving-kindness
Give the world it's biggest smiles...

Little words can soothe big troubles
Little hugs can dry big tears,
Little candles light the darkness,
Little memories last for years...

Little dreams can lead to greatness,
Little victories to success
It's the little things in life
That bring the greatest happiness...

When I think about all the little things,
warm thoughts of my friends come to mind
and all the joy that friendship brings,
always and forever sharing it with you.

(author unknown)

Old Age Quotes

Gray hair is God's graffiti. ~  Bill Cosby

Old age is no place for sissies. ~ Bette Davis

Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. ~ Satchel Paige

Just remember, once you're over the hill, you begin to pick up speed. ~ Charles Schulz

"Don't worry about senility," my grandfather used to say. "When it hits you, you won't know it." ~ Bill Cosby

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been. ~ Mark Twain

Inside every seventy year old is a thirty five year old asking, "What happened?" ~ Ann Landers

My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty, and it was the law. ~ Jerry Seinfeld

It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like. ~ Jackie Mason

Put cotton in your ears and pebbles in your shoes. Pull on rubber gloves. Smear Vaseline over your glasses, and there you have it: instant old age. ~ Malcolm Cowley
  

Just Wondering:

Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'...but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box? 

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?  

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? 

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? 

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway...   

Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural? 

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp,
which no decent human being would eat? 

If the professor on Gilligan's  Island  can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? 

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? 

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? 

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead? 

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?

Why does someone  believe you when you say there are four billion stars,
but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'? 

If people evolved from apes,  why are there still apes?     

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?     

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to
give the vacuum one more chance?     

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures? 

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over? 

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons are suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends --
if they're okay, then it's you.    

May..,

May there always be work for your hands to do;
May your Purse always hold a coin or two;
May the sun always shine on your windowpane;
May a rainbow be certain to follow each rain;
May the hand of a friend always be near you;
May God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.

Count Your Blessings

Count your blessings instead of your crosses;
Count your gains instead of your losses.

Count your joys instead of your woes;
Count your friends instead of your foes.

Count your smiles instead of your tears;
Count your courage instead of your fears.

Count your full years instead of your lean;
Count your kind deeds instead of your mean.

Count your health instead of your wealth;
Love your neighbor as much as yourself.

Priceless

These are actual complaints received by Thomas Cook Vacations, from dissatisfied customers:  

 

1. "I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local convenience store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts."

 

2. "It's lazy of the local shopkeepers in Puerto Vallarta to close in the afternoons.  I often needed to buy things during 'siesta' time -- this should be banned."

 

3. "On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food."

 

4. "We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our own swimsuits and towels.  We assumed it would be included in the price."

 

5. "The beach was too sandy. We had to clean everything when we returned to our room."

 

6. "We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as white but it was more yellow."

 

7. "They should not allow topless sunbathing on the beach. It was very distracting for my husband who just wanted to relax." 

 

8. "No-one told us there would be fish in the water. The children were scared."

 

9. "Although the brochure said that there was a fully equipped kitchen, there was no egg-slicer in the drawers." 

 

 10. "We went on holiday to Spain and had a problem with the taxi drivers as they were all Spanish."

 

11. "The roads were uneven and bumpy, so we could not read the local guide book during the bus ride to the resort. Because of this, we were unaware of many things that would have made our holiday more fun."

 

12. "It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England. It took the Americans only three hours to get home. This seems unfair." 

 

13. "I compared the size of our one-bedroom suite to our friends' three-bedroom and ours was significantly smaller."

 

14. "The brochure stated: 'No hairdressers at the resort.'  We're trainee hairdressers and we think they knew and made us wait longer for service." 

 

15. "When we were in Spain, there were too many Spanish people there. The receptionist spoke Spanish, the food was Spanish.  No one told us that there would be so many foreigners." 

 

16. "We had to line up outside to catch the boat and there was no air-conditioning."

 

17. "It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel."

 

18. "I was bitten by a mosquito. The brochure did not mention mosquitoes."

 

19. "My fiancée and I requested twin-beds when we booked, but instead we were placed in a room with a king bed. We now hold you responsible and want to be re-reimbursed for the
fact that I became pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked."

        

Be Aware .... They walk among us and they vote!!!! 

 

   And they reproduce~And there's lots of them! 

Eighth Grade Test

This is a teachers exam from 1895 from Salina, Kansas USA.
Since most teachers only had an 8th grade education,
 it has been erroneously reported that it was an eighth-grade final examination.
It was taken from the original document on file at the Smoky Valley Genealogical Society
and Library in Salina, Kansas and reprinted by the Salina Journal.

Salina, KS -1895 Grammar (Time, one hour)

1. Give nine rules for the use of Capital Letters.

2. Name the Parts of Speech and define those that have no
     modifications.

3. Define Verse, Stanza and Paragraph.

4. What are the Principal Parts of a verb? Give Principal Parts of   
     do, lie, lay and run.

5. Define Case, Illustrate each Case.

6. What is Punctuation? Give rules for principal marks of Punctuation.

7 - 10. Write a composition of about 150 words and show therein that 
      you understand the practical use of the rules of grammar.
Arithmetic (Time, 1.25 hours)

1. Name and define the Fundamental Rules of Arithmetic.

2. A wagon box is 2 ft. deep, 10 feet long, and 3 ft. wide.
    How many bushels of wheat will it hold?

3. If a load of wheat weighs 3942 lbs., what is it worth at
    50 cents a bushel, deducting 1050 lbs. for tare?

4. District No. 33 has a valuation of $35,000. What is the necessary levy to carry on a
    school seven months at $50 per month, and have $104 for incidentals?

5. Find cost of 6720 lbs. coal at $6.00 per ton.

6. Find the interest of $512.60 for 8 months and 18 days at
    7 percent.

7. What is the cost of 40 boards 12 inches wide and 16 ft. long
     at $20 per meter?

8. Find bank discount on $300 for 90 days (no grace) at 10 percent.

9. What is the cost of a square farm at $15 per acre, the distance
     around which is 640 rods.

10. Write a Bank Check, a Promissory Note, and a Receipt.
U.S. History (Time, 45 minutes)

1. Give the epochs into which U.S. History is divided.

2. Give an account of the discovery of America by Columbus.

3. Relate the causes and results of the Revolutionary War.

4. Show the territorial growth of the United States.

5. Tell what you can of the history of Kansas.

6. Describe three of the most prominent battles of the Rebellion.

7. Who were the following: Morse, Whitney, Fulton, Bell, Lincoln,     Penn, and Howe?  

8. Name events connected with the following dates: 1607
   1620 1800 1849 1865 Orthography (Time, one hour)
English, Spelling, Grammar

1. What is meant by the following: Alphabet, phonetic, orthography, etymology, syllabication?

2. What are elementary sounds? How classified?

3. What are the following, and give examples of each:
    Trigraph, sub vocals, diphthong, cognate letters, lingual?

4. Give four substitutes for caret 'u'.

5. Give two rules for spelling words with final 'e'. Name two exceptions under each rule.

6. Give two uses of silent letters in spelling.
    Illustrate each.

7. Define the following prefixes and use in connection with a word:
    Bi, dis, mis, pre, semi, post, non, inter, mono, sup

8. Mark diacritically and divide into syllables the following, and name the sign  that indicates the sound:
    Card, ball, mercy, sir, odd, cell, rise, blood, fare, last

9. Use the following correctly in sentences, cite, site, sight, fane, fain, feign, vane, vain, vein, raze, raise, rays.

10. Write 10 words frequently mispronounced and indicate
       pronunciation by use of diacritical marks and by syllabication.
     
Geography (Time, one hour)

1. What is climate? Upon what does climate depend?

2. How do you account for the extremes of climate in Kansas?

3. Of what use are rivers? Of what use is the ocean?

4. Describe the mountains of North America.

5. Name and describe the following: Monrovia, Odessa, Denver,
    Manitoba, Yukon, St. Helena, and Orinoco.
 
6. Name and locate the principal trade centers of the U.S.

7. Name all the republics of Europe and give capital of each.

8. Why is the Atlantic Coast colder than the Pacific in the
     same latitude?

9. Describe the process by which the water of the ocean returns to the  sources of rivers.

10. Describe the movements of the earth. Give inclination of the earth.
Gives the saying of an early 20th century person that "she/he"
  only had an 8th grade education" a whole new meaning.

Please don't write and ask me for the answers!

I would have flunked!

Seniors Speak Out

Senior citizens are constantly being criticized for
every conceivable deficiency of the modern world, real
or imaginary. We take responsibility for all we have
done and do not blame others.

BUT, upon reflection, we would like to point out that
it was NOT the senior citizens who took:

The melody out of music,
The pride out of appearance,
The romance out of love,
The commitment out of marriage,
The responsibility out of parenthood,
The togetherness out of the family,
The learning out of education,
The service out of patriotism,
The religion out of school,
The Golden Rule from rulers,
The nativity scene out of cities,
The civility out of behavior,
The refinement out of language,
The dedication out of employment,
The prudence out of spending, or
The ambition out of achievement,

And we certainly are NOT the ones who eliminated
patience and tolerance from personal relationships and
interactions with others!!