Monday, August 5, 2013

Believe It Or Not

Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could  have an order of 6, 9 or 20 Chicken McNuggets.
I asked for a half dozen  nuggets.
"We don't have half dozen nuggets", said the teenager at the
counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twenty,"
was the reply. "So I can't order a half-dozen nuggets, but I can order
six?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.

*************

I was checking out at the local Foodland with just a few items and the
lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one
of those dividers that they keep by the cash register and placed it
between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the cashier had
scanned all of my items, she picked up the divider, looking it all over
for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she
said to me "Do you know how much this is?" and I said to her "I've
changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today". She said "OK" and
| I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just
happened....

*************
A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive
and  pulling it out very quickly. When inquired as to what she
was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept
asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy".

**************
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car.
"Do you  need some help?" I asked. She replied,
"I knew I should have replaced  the battery to this remote door unlocker.
Now I can't get into my car.
Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store)
would have a  battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I don't know.
 Do you have an alarm too?" I asked.
 "No, just this remote thingy," she answered,
handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually
unlocked the door, I  replied, "Why don't you drive over there
and check about the batteries?  It's a long walk."

*****************
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift.
One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said,
"I'm almost out of typing  paper. What do I do?"
"Just use copier paper,"  the secretary told her.
With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put
it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.

*************
I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was
 towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle  was in dire need
|of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister".
I asked the  manager what had happened. He told me that the driver
had set the cruise control and then went in the back to make a sandwich.

*************
My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office
of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems
with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman
in one of the branch banks who had this question:
 "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal.
 Do you guys have a fire
downtown?"

***************
Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a
metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. 
The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the
copy button each time they thought the
suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector"
was working, the suspect confessed.