See Rock City

See Rock City

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

9 Things That We Should Get Rid Of To Help Our Kids

She borrowed something from me.

And then she lost it.

Accidents happen.

But it was the whole “It only cost ten bucks-you can get another one” attitude that I couldn’t let happen a moment longer.

So, I gave her a job that required hard work and gave her the $10 she earned and then I made her pay me for what she lost.

Child counting money (Shallow DOF)

Listen, when I realized I was more than half the problem in this  whole entitlement parenting challenge, it was a wake up call. Kids  naturally want what they haven’t earned, especially if we are handing it  out for free.
But what we have is an entire generation of young adults who got  everything they ever wanted with little or no work; we have a cultural  norm and it’s a problem.

Because reality is, life doesn’t give us everything we want. We don’t  always get the best jobs or a job at all. We don’t always have someone  rescue us when we have a bad day or replace our boss just because we  don’t like them. We can’t always have what we want when we want it. We  aren’t always rewarded in life.

Here are 9 things we can get rid of to begin eliminating entitlement in our children:

1. Guilt: Often we give into our kid’s requests out  of guilt. We need to stop feeling guilty for not giving our kids  everything they want. It’s hard to swallow, but we foster the attitude  of entitlement in our homes when we are ruled by a guilty conscience.  It’s okay to ask kids to be responsible for what they lose and to  require consequences for actions.

2. Overspending: I think it’s good for our kids to  hear us say, “We can’t afford that” Or “We will have to save for it.”  Because that’s real life. We don’t have All The Money to Buy All the  Things. I’ve known families before who are working multiple jobs to keep  kids in extracurricular activities, when honestly, the kids would  probably be happier with more family time.

3. Birthday Party Goody Bag (Mentality) I’ve been  guilty of this like most of us. But, really? We take our kids to parties  so they can give a gift, but they take a small one home so they won’t  feel bad? It’s not their birthday. This concept of spoiling kids (which  usually goes far beyond goody &bags) is temporary fun. It’s okay for  them not to be the center of attention.

4. Making our day-week-month, Working  in the non-profit world has redirected our extra time. We simply can’t  center our lives around our children when we are centering our lives  around Christ. Child-centered homes don’t help children in the long-run.

5. The desire to make our children happy (all the time).  If you visited my house, you’d find out pretty quickly that someone’s  always unhappy. It’s not our job to keep our kids happy. Don’t carry  that impossible burden. Typically when our kids are unhappy, it’s  because we are standing our ground. And that makes for much healthier  kids in the future.

6. Made Up Awards: You know what I’m talking about.  Rewarding everyone who participates in every area only fosters an  inflated self esteem. Kids don’t need rewards for every little thing.  It’s okay to lose, they learn through failure as much as success.

7. Fixing all their problems: I don’t like to see my  kids struggling. There’s a part of every parent that longs to make  things right in their child’s world. But it’s not healthy to create a  false reality. You won’t always be there to do so and not only that, if  you’re doing it all for your child, why would they need to learn to do  it themselves? Fixing all their problems is really only creating more  challenges in the future.

8. Stuff: We could all probably fill a half dozen  trash bags with just stuff. Excess. Try it. Bag it up and get your kids  to help you and give it to someone who needs it.

9. Unrealistic Expectations: My girls are always  asking for manicures. I didn’t have one until I was married, pregnant  and 27 years old. I’m not opposed to the occasional treat, but it’s the  attitude of expecting it because you as a parent or others have it. Just  because I have an iPhone, doesn’t mean my children will get one. We  don’t have to give our kids everything we have. It’s okay to make them  wait for things in life.

It’s okay to toss out these things. Go ahead, give it a try.

Source: wearethatfamily