Aquadextrious:
The art of turning the bathtub tap on with your toes.
Pain:
A cat licking your sunburn.
Budget:
A method for going broke methodically.
Willpower:
The ability to eat only one salted peanut.
Profanity:
The linguistic crutch of inarticulate idiots.
Boat:
A hole in the water surrounded by wood into which one pours money.
Bachelor:
One who treats all women as sequels.
Cigarette:
A pinch of tobacco, wrapped in paper, fire at one end, fool at the other.
Flashlight:
A case for holding dead batteries.
Taxpayer:
Someone who doesn't have to take a public service exam to work for the government.
Consciousness:
That annoying time between naps.
Stress:
The confusion created when ones mind overrides the body's basic desire to choke the living daylights out of some idiot who desperately needs it.
Jury:
Twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer
Chickens:
The only animals you eat before they are born and after they're dead.
Hospitality:
Making your guests feel at home, even if you wish they were.
Adult:
A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
Source: Internet
Showing posts with label Funny Definitions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funny Definitions. Show all posts
Monday, January 23, 2012
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Funny Definitions
ADULT:
A person who has stopped growing at both ends
and is now growing in the middle.
BEAUTY PARLOR:
A place where women curl up and dye.
CANNIBAL:
Someone who is fed up with people.
CHICKENS:
The only creatures you eat before they are born
and after they are dead.
COMMITTEE:
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
DUST:
Mud with the juice squeezed out.
EGOIST:
Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.
GOSSIP:
A person who will never tell a lie if the truth
will do more damage.
HANDKERCHIEF:
Cold storage.
INFLATION:
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
MOSQUITO:
An insect that makes you like flies better.
RAISIN:
Grape with a sunburn.
SECRET:
Something you tell to one person at a time.
TOOTHACHE:
The pain that drives you to extraction.
TOMORROW:
One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.
YAWN:
An honest opinion openly expressed.
WRINKLES:
Something other people have. You have character lines.
Author Unknown
A person who has stopped growing at both ends
and is now growing in the middle.
BEAUTY PARLOR:
A place where women curl up and dye.
CANNIBAL:
Someone who is fed up with people.
CHICKENS:
The only creatures you eat before they are born
and after they are dead.
COMMITTEE:
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
DUST:
Mud with the juice squeezed out.
EGOIST:
Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.
GOSSIP:
A person who will never tell a lie if the truth
will do more damage.
HANDKERCHIEF:
Cold storage.
INFLATION:
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
MOSQUITO:
An insect that makes you like flies better.
RAISIN:
Grape with a sunburn.
SECRET:
Something you tell to one person at a time.
TOOTHACHE:
The pain that drives you to extraction.
TOMORROW:
One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.
YAWN:
An honest opinion openly expressed.
WRINKLES:
Something other people have. You have character lines.
Author Unknown
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