See Rock City

See Rock City

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Redneck Olympics

Skipping Rocks

The oldest and most traditional of all Redneck games. The heavy-weight division is most popular, as contestants try to skip bricks.


Originated by an ancient Redneck trying to clean his yard. A great fling is not only a beautiful thing to watch, but often it is accompanied by the exciting sound of something breaking.


Not the most popular sport because most Rednecks agree that, "If you can't afford a motor, you can't afford a boat."

Long Jump

This sport is a Redneck favorite, since they all own numerous sets of jumper cables and all their vehicles have dead or dying batteries.

Hog Calling

The good ones can bring a sow into Times Square using only their voice.  The great ones are often victims of sexual assault by live pork.


We're not talking about anything as sissy as following a blood trail. A good tracker can trail a grasshopper down the interstate. A favorite put down in this sport is, "You couldn't track a slug across a sheet of glass."

Field Hockey

Who can run the farthest through a cow pasture without stepping  in "you know what." A real exciting game when played at night with flashlights.

Bush Hogging For Distance

Put her in drive and hold on tight! A blatant disregard for personal property is an essential for this game. 

2x4 Relay

Originated at night on construction sites by people looking to enlarge their homes at budget prices.

Source: Internet