Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.
You buy shoes with crepe rubber soles.
The only reason you're still awake at 2 a.m. is indigestion.
People ask you what color your hair used to be.
You enjoy watching the news.
Your car must have four doors.
You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
You have a dream about prunes.
You browse the bran cereal section in the grocery store.
You start worrying when your supply of Ben Gay is low.
You think a C.D. is a certificate of deposit.
You have more than 2 pairs of glasses.
You read the obituaries daily.
Your biggest concern when dancing is falling.
You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
You wear black socks with sandals.
You know all the warning signs of a heart attack.
You dance slow to this song.