Redneck Halloween

You might be a Redneck if:

The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch
has more teeth than your spouse.

Bubba's wife passed away and Bubba called 911.
The 911 operator told Bubba that she would send
someone out right away.

 "Where do you live?" asked the operator.

Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive."

The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?

 "There was a long pause and finally Bubba said,

 "How 'bout if I drag her over to Oak Street and you pick her up there?" 

Deep in the backwoods the hillbilly's wife went
into labor in the middle of the night, and the
doctor was called out to assist in the delivery.
Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed
the father-to-be a lantern and said,
 "Here, you hold this high so I can see what I'm doing."
    Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world.
"Whoa there," said the doctor. "Don't be in a rush to put
the lantern down...I think there's another one coming."
    Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a baby girl.
    "No, no, don't be in a great hurry to be
putting down that lantern...
It seems there's yet another one in there!"
cried the doctor.
    The hillbilly scratched his head in bewilderment,
and asked the doctor,
"Do you think it's the light that's attractin' 'em?"