Ten Signs You Are Too Old For Halloween

You get winded from knocking on the door.

You have to have someone chew the candy for you.

You ask for high fiber candy only.

When someone drops a candy bar in your bag,
       you lose your balance and fall over.

People say, "Great Keith Richards mask!"
       and you're not wearing a mask.

When the door opens you yell, "Trick or..."
       and you can't remember the rest.

By the end of the night you have a bag full of
       restraining orders.

You have to carefully choose a costume that won't
       dislodge your hair piece.

You're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood
       with a walker.

You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives live.