1. Your joints are more accurate than the National Weather Service.
2. Kidnappers ignore you.
3. Sexual harassment charges against you just don't stick.
4. People no longer think you're a hypochondriac.
5. Your secrets are now safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
6. Your eyes won't get much worse.
7. You're no longer expected to run into a burning building.
8. Whatever you buy now won't wear out.
9. In a hostage situation, you're likely to be released first.
10. There's nothing left to learn the hard way.