Grandma's Surfing The Internet

Grandma used to make us cherry pies
And call us on the phone
She would talk to us for hours;
Now she leaves us all alone.
We miss her homemade biscuits
And I'll make this little bet -
If you want to contact Grandma,
You'll have to surf the net.

Grandma's surfin' the net,
We've been calling her all morning
And we haven't got her yet
She's on her e-mail network
With her electronic friends
If you want to talk to Grandma,
You'll have to surf the net.

Grandma's never surfed at Malibu
Or caught a wave at Waikiki
She's never seen a surf board;
Hang ten doesn't mean a thing.
She's never met a beach bum;
To her Moon Doggie is just a pup
But when she heads to her computer,
You know the surf is up.
Grandma's getting older
And her eyes are getting dim
Her random access memory
Is half of what it's been
When St. Peter comes to call,
She'll say I can't go yet
He'll just have to wait on Grandma,
'Cause Grandma's surfin' the net.